Dining Out Tips

This coming week in the Beck Diet Solution we talk about dining out. I wanted to share a few helpful tips to assist you in planning what and how to order.

The first is the site Healthy Dining Finder. Enter your zipcode to find restaurants near you, or enter the name of a restaurant where you know you'll be going. Most chain restaurants are included. Let's take Chili's for an example; they have 8 entrees listed for less than 750 calories. The website will show you how to order your food (for example, hold the tortilla strips in this soup), what to substitute (ask for plain broccoli instead of rice) and how to account for things like added salad dressings. It's difficult to know what's in a restaurant menu item; for all you know, the chef can be melting butter over your steak and you wouldn't know unless someone gave you those details. So this site is priceless when it comes to deciphering which items are the lowest in calories.

Second, I want to remind you that people are not watching you as often as you think they are. Some of my clients have confided to me they are embarrassed to ask for alterations in the standard service, like having salad dressing put on the side, or holding the sour cream that comes with the baked potato. Trust me: Wait staff are very used to special requests! Serving your dressing on the side is not complicated. (Sending the server back to the chef with multiple questions about ingredients is).
And other diners are actually so involved in what they are anticipating to eat, they won't be paying attention to how you are ordering your meal. Think about the last time you ate out--do you remember what others in your party ordered? If they requested anything special? If they ate all their food?

I remember an occasion dining out with a large party when one of the ladies asked the waiter to bring her a take-out container along with her meal. Upon receiving her entree she immediately put half of it into the container and set it off to the side. I covertly asked her about it: "I'm a dietitian and some of my clients tell me they feel awkward asking the waiter for something outside the norm like you did. Did you ever feel self-conscious about it?" She confidently answered, "If someone else has a problem with it, then it's their problem--I am not about to let something like that interfere with my weight-loss success. I've lost 45 pounds this way and I won't let thoughts like that stand in my way!" Good for her! What about you??

Third, I want to share a helpful tip from a client I'll call Lisa. She has many helpful strategies to keep her eating in check. Hers for dining out is to choose ONE additional 'dispensable item' with the meal: Wine OR bread OR dessert. Planning for an extra 200 calories is fine once in a while; getting out of control because eating out is considered a "special occasion" is not. Having the extras that come with a restaurant meal can ruin all the effort you've made for the entire week.
So plan carefully, and follow through with your plan. Then, remember to give yourself credit for a job well done!

What Is Your Reward?

One helpful component of any weight loss plan is a reward system. Aside from seeing the number on the scale go down and finding your clothes fitting better, intermittent rewards will help you continue the good behavior changes you're attempting while you're in between weigh-ins.

What makes a good reward? As you probably already know, food of any kind does not make the list! It should be something you will look forward to, something you wouldn't ordinarily buy or do, and something so desireable you will hop on the treadmill for it when you don't really feel like it.

Some examples: a book, a magazine, a massage, an item of clothing or jewelry, a short trip or a special pamper time just for you (perhaps a bubble bath, or a deal where someone else cares for the kids or pets for part of the day).

What does not work is something like a manicure if you already get one every week--if you're going to get one anyway (and you know you will NOT pass it up if you don't perform your weekly planned actions) it's not going to serve its purpose.

That said, some people do benefit from negative consequences: For example setting the goal "I cannot have my weekly manicure unless I work out 4 days this week". Skipping something you really want one week could have you make certain to get your workout in next time!
One client liked to look at her phone first thing in the morning to check her email and her social media. Then she would decide whether or not she felt like exercising that day. For her, it worked to establish a rule: NO PHONE until AFTER I exercise. This encouraged her to jump out of bed and finish her exercise first thing in the morning!

Another client uses earrings for her negative consequence. It's very important to her to wear earrings every day since her ears are pierced. She feels absolutely naked without them, and it makes her self-conscious. If she goes over her planned calorie intake, she does not put earrings in the next day and it makes her absolutely cringe to leave the house! There's also the chance, since she is local, that she might run into ME, and if I see her without earrings on, I know what that means!

Other things that do not cost money include time surfing the internet, time spent with friends or family, rewards other people can give you (like a foot massage from your husband!) or a visit to the library to peruse this week's magazine issues.

Think of what rewards would work for you, and what actions it will take to earn them.
How often do you want to reward yourself? Each day? Each week? After several weeks?
Is there something you want to save up for that you can earn daily or weekly minutes or dollars for following through, and saving up for a larger reward after a period of time.

Please list your reward ideas in the comments section to help others consider options--this is always a challenge to come up with!!

What do you Call Yourself?

A lot of how you feel is based on your perspective: Your perspective of yourself, your weight, your appearance; whether you call yourself "good" or "bad"; whether or not you believe you have willpower, or if you tell yourself you're out of control, or have ruined your day with a certain behavior.

The Beck Diet Solution talks a lot about this idea of perspective. We're encouraged to take a step back and see "what is really true in this situation"?  In fact, eating something not on our food plan has not ruined our day, made us into a bad person, or shown us that we have no control. It can be viewed as a learning experience, teaching us what led to that behavior and helping us figure out how we can avoid that particular action in the future.

Note the language that dieters often use, placing blame when an extra food is consumed, or exercise is skipped: "I cheated", "I was bad today", or "today was a complete failure" are what we often tell ourselves. 

And that's not true. You weren't a bad person because you made a bad decision.

And that's the key: learning to separate YOU from your actions, your behaviors and your weight.

To change from "I was so bad" to "I made a bad decision earlier today and now I'm going to fix it by adjusting my calorie intake/exercise"

To change from "I am fat" to "I have some extra weight I am working to get off my body".

Because the truth is, YOU are not your body fat any more than you are your hair or your feet or your fingernails. These are all parts of us that we strive to take care of and make nice, but when we have a "bad hair day" we never say "I am a bad person because my hair is frizzy" or "I am so out of control because I haven't fixed my nail polish chips"!

The truth is, maybe something was more important today than taking the time to get a pedicure or put on moisturizer. Maybe we had a sick child to take care of or a work emergency or a family crisis.
We strive to take care of our entire body--and all its parts--every day, but we are not perfect.

Say aloud, "I have some extra fat on my body I am trying to get rid of". 
How does that feel? 
Do you feel more empowered because the fat is not you?

This week, try to separate what you do and what you look like from who you are.

Let us hear your experience with this experiment below in the comments section.

Find Your Motivation!

What Motivates You? Pleasure or Pain

People are motivated to either get something they want, or to avoid something they do not want. Consider how this will help you avoid eating unplanned foods, or encourage you to be active when you aren't looking forward to an activity.

Ask yourself how you will obtain something pleasurable when you stick to your Beck Diet rules each day, keeping your food diary, planning your meals ahead, using your response cards when you're tempted to eat something before it's time, and incorporating activity times into your week:
- If I do this, how will I feel about myself?
- What kind of momentum will this give me?
- How much happier will I be?

Stopping in the moment can make a huge difference! Before you eat that tempting treat or plop down on the couch instead of going for your walk, just take 5 and consider the consequences.

On the flip side, skipping exercise, not keeping your food diary, giving in to temptations--how will these make you feel or what will they result in?
- What will I potentially miss out on if I stray from the plan today?
- What will it cost me (self-esteem? not being able to fit into that dress for the party? No change on the scale this week?)
- How will it hinder me: physically, emotionally, financially or spiritually??

Have a conversation with the "you" of tomorrow. Will tomorrow's YOU be proud of the decisions you make today? or will he/she be disappointed you were entrusted you to take care of his/her body?
How do you feel about the YOU of yesterday and the choices you made then?

Please feel free to leave your thoughts to share in our comments section.

Should you, really?

Think about when you say "I should" (either aloud or to yourself) and what it means to you.

"Shoulds" often come with obligation, duty, guilt, comparison.

If you tell yourself, "I should lose weight" then who are you doing it for?  

How compelling has it been in the past to lose weight 'because you should'?

How much do you feel like exercising when you tell yourself "I have to go to the gym"?
Wants are cravings and desires; they pull you towards them and are associated with positive action or reward when you do/get them.

Try changing your language, and see how your perspective changes when your brain hears something in a different way: Instead of "should", try saying 'like' or 'want'.

"I like going for a walk and stretching my legs" or "Doing exercise makes me feel energetic"

"I want to eat a healthy meal (lower fat, more vegetables, etc) that will keep me satisfied" or "I will feel good about choosing a healthier option for dinner"

"It feels productive to keep my food log/fill in my workbook. I know it's an activity I will give myself credit for"

This week, try changing some "shoulds" to "wants" and notice how differently you react.

Feel free to leave comments here!

You Really Don't Have 30 Minutes to Exercise??

This 10-minute video may change your perspective if you think you can't exercise for 30 minutes.

What he is really saying is "don't spend more than 23-1/2 hours sitting on your rear".... that seems reasonable, doesn't it?

We could use this new weight loss idea, right?

Amy Schumer always talks about trying to lose weight, and I thought this would be a pretty good idea--if it works for you :)

Excuse the 30-second commercial before the skit starts, which--of course--is about food!
I hope you find this as humorous as I did....

Slap Chef

Why do you want to lose weight?

One of the first steps in a successful weight loss plan is identifying why you want to embark on such a project. It is always difficult to make changes.

Often, changes we must make in a weight loss plan include doing things we don't feel like doing (exercising, keeping a food diary, being accountable for your decisions) as well as resisting temptations (not eating dessert, not snacking while watching TV, not sitting and relaxing at the end of the day when we're tired).

So how to you motivate yourself, propel yourself into these undesirable actions and behaviors, learn to think of them as positives and successes? You need to find your motivation.... why do you want the end result. Why should you do something you don't feel like doing, or deprive yourself of something so pleasant. The key is asking several "whys" when you come up with your reasons for weight loss.

A typical reason is "my health". But what does that mean? Do you really believe that sitting on the sofa tonight and not exercising is the 2 hours of your life that will make a difference in your blood pressure? Do you really think that this one piece of pie is going to give you diabetes?

So, you need to drill down the reasons: "I want to lose weight to look better".
Okay, what will that do for you? "I will have more self-confidence".
Okay, why is that important to you? "I won't be walking around feeling like I'm a failure because I can't keep weight off"
And how will that make you feel? "I will feel like a successful person when I lose weight and look better and I feel I will appear as a person in control of her actions. This will translate into people viewing me as competent, confident, and someone to look up to because I'm successful.
The bottom line is I will be successful at weight loss and this means I can be successful at other endeavors"

Now, when you walk by the cinnabon stand in the mall, what will you be thinking? "this one won't hurt?", "I've had a hard day and I deserve to treat myself?" or "I am a successful person who exercises self control. I can resist the cinnabon because I am in control of what I eat. I will walk by the bakery with my head held high and my resolve intact. I'm confident I can make that decision and be proud of myself for the rest of the day".

Drilling down "why" you want to lose weight can give you that motivation--for your looks, your health, your comfort, your pride, your appearance, etc etc.

Leave us one of your reasons and the subsequent "why" exercise in the comments section!

Are You Looking for a Healthy Diet Plan?

One of the Beck Diet Solution recommendations is finding a healthy diet plan. There are several I suggest that are well-balanced, sound, and can be maintained for life.

1) Some people have chosen Weight Watchers. It's a sound and healthy diet that you can follow for the rest of your life. Many people have gone on and off it over decades; they keep going back to it because it works so well while they're following it! But I have one friend who has never strayed from it in 25 years and she continues to manage her weight successfully--even on a cruise! It's easy to use and comes with support in the form of weekly groups, meetings, or online assistance. Many packaged foods in supermarkets show you how many "Weight Watchers Points" are in a serving, so you are virtually surrounded with information to help you stay on the plan.

2) Another healthy plan to try is through the MyPlate website, at ChooseMyPlate.gov. This is a USDA site put together by professionals who use the dietary guidelines to help you plan your daily menu. For instance, if you want to follow a 1600-calorie level (they can help you figure out your ideal calorie level, too) you can print out a meal plan and make your choices ahead of time, or fill in and monitor your intake throughout the day. You can track your intake, watch videos, try recipes, and read helpful tips.  There are portion guidelines, tips for dining out, and loads of healthy eating tools.

3) My favorite diet, personally, is the DASH diet. It was actually developed by the National Institutes of Health/Department of Health and Human Services to prevent and treat high blood pressure (it stands for "Dietary Approaches to Stop Hypertension"),  but it's healthy for virtually anyone (with the exception of people who must limit their potassium intake--usually due to kidney disease or certain medications). The diet is full of fruits, vegetables, nuts, low-fat dairy products and lean meats like fish and chicken. It is quite restrictive in "empty calories" and includes just 2 servings of 'fat' daily (think, a pat of margarine) and less than one 'sweet' daily (think, jelly on your toast!), so it can be a challenge at first. The result is a diet high in potassium, fiber and minerals, and low in fat, cholesterol and sugars. It's very filling because all the foods are nutrient-dense, and is available in a range of calorie levels. Here is a simplified version with a meal plan template DASH and here is the monograph that explains the diet in more detail, if you're interested (more DASH) along with tips for healthy living including exercise ideas.

4) Any diet will work, as long as you eat fewer calories than you burn. In the short term you can lose weight with meal replacement drinks, cookie diets, packaged meals or any of thousands of diet books. But it's a good idea to find a plan you can live with for a very long time.  If you have the notion you are "going on a diet to lose weight" that means you plan to go off the diet once the weight comes off (or the going gets tough)... and then what??

If you have any questions, feel free to email me, comment below, or bring it up on our next call :)

See you on the Monday night call!
Laurie

Welcome to Life Changing Weight Loss 2016!

I'd like to welcome you all to our 2016 Life Changing Weight Loss teleclass.
We'll begin promptly at 8:00 pm Eastern time on Monday, January 18, and meet each Monday. If you miss a class, or part of one, I'll provide you with the call-in directions to listen to the taped recording of that class. Each recording will be kept until the next class.

If you ever have any questions or comments, feel free to email me at Laurie@mycoachlaurie.com any time.

You should have the book "The Beck Diet Solution Workbook" by Judith Beck and review the first 4 chapters before our first class. However, you don't have to actually start your "diet" yet, or worry about if you've slipped since your New Year's Resolution started.

We'll start the first call by getting introduced to each other and getting to know a bit about the people we'll be spending the next 8 weeks with. I've found every group to be supportive and friendly since I started this teleclass in 2012. I look forward to meeting the 2016 group!

Please feel free to leave any comments in the comment section below. You can tell us a bit about yourself; perhaps where you live, what diets you've tried, what you're hoping to learn here, or what your hobbies are--whatever you like!

Each week there will be a post which you can read, explore, try out, and comment on--but none of them are mandatory--they will be in addition to the material we cover each week, just for you if you want a little extra support during the week to keep you going until the next Monday.

Until Monday, happy reading :)

Laurie