Dining Out Tips

This coming week in the Beck Diet Solution we talk about dining out. I wanted to share a few helpful tips to assist you in planning what and how to order.

The first is the site Healthy Dining Finder. Enter your zipcode to find restaurants near you, or enter the name of a restaurant where you know you'll be going. Most chain restaurants are included. Let's take Chili's for an example; they have 8 entrees listed for less than 750 calories. The website will show you how to order your food (for example, hold the tortilla strips in this soup), what to substitute (ask for plain broccoli instead of rice) and how to account for things like added salad dressings. It's difficult to know what's in a restaurant menu item; for all you know, the chef can be melting butter over your steak and you wouldn't know unless someone gave you those details. So this site is priceless when it comes to deciphering which items are the lowest in calories.

Second, I want to remind you that people are not watching you as often as you think they are. Some of my clients have confided to me they are embarrassed to ask for alterations in the standard service, like having salad dressing put on the side, or holding the sour cream that comes with the baked potato. Trust me: Wait staff are very used to special requests! Serving your dressing on the side is not complicated. (Sending the server back to the chef with multiple questions about ingredients is).
And other diners are actually so involved in what they are anticipating to eat, they won't be paying attention to how you are ordering your meal. Think about the last time you ate out--do you remember what others in your party ordered? If they requested anything special? If they ate all their food?

I remember an occasion dining out with a large party when one of the ladies asked the waiter to bring her a take-out container along with her meal. Upon receiving her entree she immediately put half of it into the container and set it off to the side. I covertly asked her about it: "I'm a dietitian and some of my clients tell me they feel awkward asking the waiter for something outside the norm like you did. Did you ever feel self-conscious about it?" She confidently answered, "If someone else has a problem with it, then it's their problem--I am not about to let something like that interfere with my weight-loss success. I've lost 45 pounds this way and I won't let thoughts like that stand in my way!" Good for her! What about you??

Third, I want to share a helpful tip from a client I'll call Lisa. She has many helpful strategies to keep her eating in check. Hers for dining out is to choose ONE additional 'dispensable item' with the meal: Wine OR bread OR dessert. Planning for an extra 200 calories is fine once in a while; getting out of control because eating out is considered a "special occasion" is not. Having the extras that come with a restaurant meal can ruin all the effort you've made for the entire week.
So plan carefully, and follow through with your plan. Then, remember to give yourself credit for a job well done!

What Is Your Reward?

One helpful component of any weight loss plan is a reward system. Aside from seeing the number on the scale go down and finding your clothes fitting better, intermittent rewards will help you continue the good behavior changes you're attempting while you're in between weigh-ins.

What makes a good reward? As you probably already know, food of any kind does not make the list! It should be something you will look forward to, something you wouldn't ordinarily buy or do, and something so desireable you will hop on the treadmill for it when you don't really feel like it.

Some examples: a book, a magazine, a massage, an item of clothing or jewelry, a short trip or a special pamper time just for you (perhaps a bubble bath, or a deal where someone else cares for the kids or pets for part of the day).

What does not work is something like a manicure if you already get one every week--if you're going to get one anyway (and you know you will NOT pass it up if you don't perform your weekly planned actions) it's not going to serve its purpose.

That said, some people do benefit from negative consequences: For example setting the goal "I cannot have my weekly manicure unless I work out 4 days this week". Skipping something you really want one week could have you make certain to get your workout in next time!
One client liked to look at her phone first thing in the morning to check her email and her social media. Then she would decide whether or not she felt like exercising that day. For her, it worked to establish a rule: NO PHONE until AFTER I exercise. This encouraged her to jump out of bed and finish her exercise first thing in the morning!

Another client uses earrings for her negative consequence. It's very important to her to wear earrings every day since her ears are pierced. She feels absolutely naked without them, and it makes her self-conscious. If she goes over her planned calorie intake, she does not put earrings in the next day and it makes her absolutely cringe to leave the house! There's also the chance, since she is local, that she might run into ME, and if I see her without earrings on, I know what that means!

Other things that do not cost money include time surfing the internet, time spent with friends or family, rewards other people can give you (like a foot massage from your husband!) or a visit to the library to peruse this week's magazine issues.

Think of what rewards would work for you, and what actions it will take to earn them.
How often do you want to reward yourself? Each day? Each week? After several weeks?
Is there something you want to save up for that you can earn daily or weekly minutes or dollars for following through, and saving up for a larger reward after a period of time.

Please list your reward ideas in the comments section to help others consider options--this is always a challenge to come up with!!

What do you Call Yourself?

A lot of how you feel is based on your perspective: Your perspective of yourself, your weight, your appearance; whether you call yourself "good" or "bad"; whether or not you believe you have willpower, or if you tell yourself you're out of control, or have ruined your day with a certain behavior.

The Beck Diet Solution talks a lot about this idea of perspective. We're encouraged to take a step back and see "what is really true in this situation"?  In fact, eating something not on our food plan has not ruined our day, made us into a bad person, or shown us that we have no control. It can be viewed as a learning experience, teaching us what led to that behavior and helping us figure out how we can avoid that particular action in the future.

Note the language that dieters often use, placing blame when an extra food is consumed, or exercise is skipped: "I cheated", "I was bad today", or "today was a complete failure" are what we often tell ourselves. 

And that's not true. You weren't a bad person because you made a bad decision.

And that's the key: learning to separate YOU from your actions, your behaviors and your weight.

To change from "I was so bad" to "I made a bad decision earlier today and now I'm going to fix it by adjusting my calorie intake/exercise"

To change from "I am fat" to "I have some extra weight I am working to get off my body".

Because the truth is, YOU are not your body fat any more than you are your hair or your feet or your fingernails. These are all parts of us that we strive to take care of and make nice, but when we have a "bad hair day" we never say "I am a bad person because my hair is frizzy" or "I am so out of control because I haven't fixed my nail polish chips"!

The truth is, maybe something was more important today than taking the time to get a pedicure or put on moisturizer. Maybe we had a sick child to take care of or a work emergency or a family crisis.
We strive to take care of our entire body--and all its parts--every day, but we are not perfect.

Say aloud, "I have some extra fat on my body I am trying to get rid of". 
How does that feel? 
Do you feel more empowered because the fat is not you?

This week, try to separate what you do and what you look like from who you are.

Let us hear your experience with this experiment below in the comments section.

Find Your Motivation!

What Motivates You? Pleasure or Pain

People are motivated to either get something they want, or to avoid something they do not want. Consider how this will help you avoid eating unplanned foods, or encourage you to be active when you aren't looking forward to an activity.

Ask yourself how you will obtain something pleasurable when you stick to your Beck Diet rules each day, keeping your food diary, planning your meals ahead, using your response cards when you're tempted to eat something before it's time, and incorporating activity times into your week:
- If I do this, how will I feel about myself?
- What kind of momentum will this give me?
- How much happier will I be?

Stopping in the moment can make a huge difference! Before you eat that tempting treat or plop down on the couch instead of going for your walk, just take 5 and consider the consequences.

On the flip side, skipping exercise, not keeping your food diary, giving in to temptations--how will these make you feel or what will they result in?
- What will I potentially miss out on if I stray from the plan today?
- What will it cost me (self-esteem? not being able to fit into that dress for the party? No change on the scale this week?)
- How will it hinder me: physically, emotionally, financially or spiritually??

Have a conversation with the "you" of tomorrow. Will tomorrow's YOU be proud of the decisions you make today? or will he/she be disappointed you were entrusted you to take care of his/her body?
How do you feel about the YOU of yesterday and the choices you made then?

Please feel free to leave your thoughts to share in our comments section.

Should you, really?

Think about when you say "I should" (either aloud or to yourself) and what it means to you.

"Shoulds" often come with obligation, duty, guilt, comparison.

If you tell yourself, "I should lose weight" then who are you doing it for?  

How compelling has it been in the past to lose weight 'because you should'?

How much do you feel like exercising when you tell yourself "I have to go to the gym"?
Wants are cravings and desires; they pull you towards them and are associated with positive action or reward when you do/get them.

Try changing your language, and see how your perspective changes when your brain hears something in a different way: Instead of "should", try saying 'like' or 'want'.

"I like going for a walk and stretching my legs" or "Doing exercise makes me feel energetic"

"I want to eat a healthy meal (lower fat, more vegetables, etc) that will keep me satisfied" or "I will feel good about choosing a healthier option for dinner"

"It feels productive to keep my food log/fill in my workbook. I know it's an activity I will give myself credit for"

This week, try changing some "shoulds" to "wants" and notice how differently you react.

Feel free to leave comments here!

You Really Don't Have 30 Minutes to Exercise??

This 10-minute video may change your perspective if you think you can't exercise for 30 minutes.

What he is really saying is "don't spend more than 23-1/2 hours sitting on your rear".... that seems reasonable, doesn't it?

We could use this new weight loss idea, right?

Amy Schumer always talks about trying to lose weight, and I thought this would be a pretty good idea--if it works for you :)

Excuse the 30-second commercial before the skit starts, which--of course--is about food!
I hope you find this as humorous as I did....

Slap Chef